Swingers bar? Utopia in the forest.

After a long trek in the Guatemalan forest we found a great hostel to stay at; it was appropriately called “Utopia.” People talk about taking the road less traveled or how the journey matters more than the destination; I can tell you that after an arduous journey through the jungle the destination matters.


We initially thought we made a big mistake: after pulling into the parking lot we saw an open air dormitory with hammocks. With tired feet and weary minds we had hoped that there would be a bit more luxury; however, Coach came to the rescue. His curiosity, coupled with Sarge’s determination, pushed us on to explore. After Dozer almost became our first casualty while walking down the hill toward the group of structures (he tripped three consecutive times on the stairs) we were greeted with the most incredible view. “Utopia” sat on the edge of a hill overlooking the river and featured a gorgeous view of the surrounding forest and country side.

Utopia First Look

We stood there, awestruck, taking in the view. Dozer’s eye caught the bar. His hopes spiked when he saw the words “Swingers Bar” in big letters above the menu.

Utopian Swinger's Bar

His hopes were dashed; however, when we realized that the name came from the bar seats hanging from the ceiling.


The people there and the sense of community made the experience incredible. The workers came from all over: Remy, who owned it, was French while the bartenders were Irish, Swiss, and Hungarian. After we drank many cervezas we partook in a great vegetarian feast: lots of salad, great bread, and dynamite potato bean soup. Coach also met Dozer’s future international wife while we ate and introduced his roommate to the Dutch beauty so they could discuss music.

Dozer and Caroline

Once dinner was done the crew continued to participate in the festivities. There was talk of never leaving and staying in this magnificent land we found. But, cooler heads prevailed. We decided that we would depart the next day for Tikal to see the great Mayan Ruins. That is, after all, a major reason we came to Guatemala.

Map to Tikal

Once the plans were set we realized we spent our last night in Utopia among friends, creating lasting memories. The shenanigans that ensued will surely be shared in a later post.


— This “bLAWg” by Law









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  1. Tony Z, the Elder

    Did anybody try the “pastries” on the menu?

    Jun 14, 2014 @ 10:26 pm